(First published in the Curmudgeon column, The Dominion Post, June 22.)
ONE OF our least attractive national characteristics was on display last week. I refer to our puerile tendency to poke our tongues out and go nyah-nyah at the Australians whenever we're perceived to have bettered them.
Not content simply to relish the All Whites’ lucky 1-1 draw with Slovakia, we had to gloat at the Socceroos’ 4-0 hammering by Germany. But any side can have a bad day, particularly against a side that’s ranked sixth in the world, and it could easily be the All Whites’ turn to stumble next. Schadenfreude – the enjoyment of others’ misfortunes – has a nasty habit of rebounding.
In any case, what was the point of crowing at Australia’s failure? All it did was announce to the world that we’re a small-minded country with a big inferiority complex.
We even failed to see the ironic humour in the Sydney Morning Herald’s headline: Australasia 1, Slovakia 1. Predictably, we rose to the bait and took it as a slight.
Sporting rivalry between New Zealand and Australia has always been intense but it used to be essentially good-natured. I’m not sure that’s true anymore.
A sour, petty tone is creeping into the relationship, though only on our side of the ditch. Surveys show that Australians still regard New Zealand and New Zealanders with more affection than any other country, which is probably more than we deserve. We should hope it stays that way, because we need them more than they need us.
Rivalry when we’re competing against each other is one thing, but in international competitions like the World Cup we can surely afford to be more big-hearted. In fact we should probably celebrate Australian successes as the next best thing to our own.
* * *
ONE OF last year’s more bizarre moments came when Dr Margaret Chan, the director-general of the World Health Organisation, announced the start of the swine flu pandemic. She made it sound as if she was opening the Olympic Games or announcing the winner of the best picture award at the Oscars.
“The world is now at the start of the 2009 influenza pandemic,” she proudly declared. I waited for her to add “Gentlemen, start your engines” and sound a hooter.
So far this year, concern over swine flu has been noticeably muted. In fact people are now wondering whether last year’s hysteria was a huge over-reaction, largely orchestrated by big drug companies that stood to make billions from the sale of vaccines.
The British Medical Journal has been severely critical of the WHO, accusing it of being less than transparent in taking advice from experts employed by the drug companies.
On Morning Report last week, director of public health Mark Jacobs told Sean Plunket that about 35 people in New Zealand had died of swine flu. And how many could be expected to die in a typical year from normal seasonal influenza? “Probably 200.”
Notwithstanding all the above, I got a flu vaccine this year because my GP recommended it, and he’s a sensible bloke. But the WHO’s credibility has taken a hammering, which is gratifying because this is the same organisation that drives the global phobia over alcohol consumption.
* * *
THIS column recently noted the emergence of a psychological affliction called Acute Sensitivity Disorder, the main symptom of which is readiness to take offence.
The rapid spread of this condition is apparent from the annual report of the Advertising Standards Authority, which contains a list of the most complained-about ads of 2009.
No 1 on the list was a Hell’s Pizza ad which played on a widely reported incident in which a Tongan man barbecued a dog in his back yard. No surprises there, since Hell’s Pizza and its advertising agency go all out to provoke controversy with ads that push the boundaries and were probably thrilled that this one attracted 62 complaints (which were upheld).
But the ad that most interested me was the one that ranked No 2. This was a Stihl chainsaw television ad in which a dying man, with his weeping family clustered around his bed, feebly whispers in his son’s ear: “Look after your mother”.
After the old man draws his last breath and expires, another family member asks the son what his last message was. The son, barely able to conceal his delight, replies: “He said I can have his chainsaw.”
Fifty-two people complained. Some said the ad was in bad taste, lacked sensitivity and was disrespectful of death. Others said it promoted lying for material gain and undermined family values.
Good grief. Whatever happened to our sense of humour? I’m phobic about television advertising, but if there were more ads like this I might stop reaching for the mute button.
To its credit, the Advertising Standards Complaints Board didn’t uphold the complaints. It ruled that the “darkly humorous and satirical presentation of a deathbed wish” saved the ad from crossing the threshold of offensiveness.
Showing posts with label All Whites. Show all posts
Showing posts with label All Whites. Show all posts
Friday, June 25, 2010
Friday, November 27, 2009
Remember Tau and Tuku? Not much has changed
[First published in the Curmudgeon column, The Dominion Post, November 24.]
DEFENDERS of MMP pooh-pooh the notion that it’s an electoral system in which the tail wags the dog, but the evidence has rarely been clearer than in the past week.
All the weasel words in the political lexicon can’t disguise the fact that the National Party has bought Maori Party support for its dodgy climate change legislation at the expense of the taxpayer.
Tariana Turia and Pita Sharples saw that National was in a fix and sniffed the opportunity for a deal favourable to Maori interests. National obliged.
As a result, an already prosperous Maori elite will get richer still by pocketing carbon credits worth a potential $25 million a year, according to one estimate.
The Maori Party won just 2.39 percent of the total vote in the last general election, yet National panders to it because it needs the party’s backing to push through legislation that no one else wants.
This is a travesty of democracy but it’s nothing new. Back in 1999 Tau Henare, then leader of the renegade Mauri Pacific Party – which no one voted for, since it broke away from New Zealand First – boasted that he had screwed $170 million out of Jim Bolger’s National Government as the price of his party’s support.
Mr Henare, of course, is now back in Parliament as a National MP. Meanwhile his ex-Mauri Pacific colleague and fellow member of the infamous “Tight Five”, Tukoroirangi Morgan, has re-invented himself as a sleek front man for the wealthy Tainui tribe. You have to admit there’s a certain synchronicity here.
* * *
PERHAPS the most obnoxious aspect of the sweetheart deal with the Maori Party is that it will place still more economic power in the hands of a tribal elite that shows little interest in spreading its wealth among less privileged Maori.
This powerful iwi coterie fought tooth and nail through the courts to prevent the spoils of Treaty settlements trickling down to so-called “urban Maori” who don’t have the right connections. Their success in fighting off claims by urban Maori is measured by the continuing existence of a substantial Maori underclass that has been cut out of the Treaty bonanza.
It is in this underclass that the problems of Maori unemployment, drug abuse, domestic violence and welfare dependency continue to fester while the Maori aristocracy looks the other way. Not their problem.
* * *
SIR WILLIAM Gilbert, the half of Gilbert and Sullivan who wrote the words, came up with the perfect name for public officials who suffer from an inflated self-regard. He called them pooh-bahs.
Oddly enough, that was the word that flashed into my mind when I read that Children’s Commissioner John Angus had urged people to stay away from last weekend’s “march for democracy” in Auckland, organised to protest at the government’s decision to ignore the 87 percent of New Zealanders who voted in a referendum against the criminalisation of smacking.
What a cheek. What business is it of the Children’s Commissioner if New Zealanders want to exercise their democratic rights by marching up Queen St? What extraordinary conceit makes him think we could benefit from his moral and political guidance?
No one outside the social welfare bureaucracy had heard of Dr Angus before his appointment earlier this year. Perhaps this silly statement was his way of letting people know he exists.
Like his colleague, Race Relations Commissioner Joris de Bres, who gratuitously stirred up the squabble between Michael Laws and a group of Otaki schoolgirls over the spelling of Wanganui, Dr Angus needs to pull his head in.
* * *
AT THE risk of sounding treasonous, isn’t it time for a reality check after the hysteria over the All Whites’ win against Bahrain?
Fact: New Zealand is at odds of 750 to 1 to win the 2010 World Cup. It shares these ignominious odds with North Korea.
Fact: New Zealand is 77th in the world football rankings. It jumped six places following its win at Westpac Stadium but still languishes behind such football giants as Togo, Cyprus and Benin.
Fact: All Whites coach Ricki Herbert said it was the enthusiastic backing of the Wellington crowd that got his team “over the line” against Bahrain. Conclusion: Unless New Zealand’s World Cup games can all be played in the Cake Tin, or the government charters fleets of Boeing 747s to carry noisy Wellington fans to match venues overseas, the 1-0 result against Bahrain was as good as it’s going to get.
Commentators who say that rugby needs to watch its back clearly had their judgment clouded by the euphoric mood at the Westpac Stadium. All it proved was that Wellington loves an excuse for a good party, which we already knew.
DEFENDERS of MMP pooh-pooh the notion that it’s an electoral system in which the tail wags the dog, but the evidence has rarely been clearer than in the past week.
All the weasel words in the political lexicon can’t disguise the fact that the National Party has bought Maori Party support for its dodgy climate change legislation at the expense of the taxpayer.
Tariana Turia and Pita Sharples saw that National was in a fix and sniffed the opportunity for a deal favourable to Maori interests. National obliged.
As a result, an already prosperous Maori elite will get richer still by pocketing carbon credits worth a potential $25 million a year, according to one estimate.
The Maori Party won just 2.39 percent of the total vote in the last general election, yet National panders to it because it needs the party’s backing to push through legislation that no one else wants.
This is a travesty of democracy but it’s nothing new. Back in 1999 Tau Henare, then leader of the renegade Mauri Pacific Party – which no one voted for, since it broke away from New Zealand First – boasted that he had screwed $170 million out of Jim Bolger’s National Government as the price of his party’s support.
Mr Henare, of course, is now back in Parliament as a National MP. Meanwhile his ex-Mauri Pacific colleague and fellow member of the infamous “Tight Five”, Tukoroirangi Morgan, has re-invented himself as a sleek front man for the wealthy Tainui tribe. You have to admit there’s a certain synchronicity here.
* * *
PERHAPS the most obnoxious aspect of the sweetheart deal with the Maori Party is that it will place still more economic power in the hands of a tribal elite that shows little interest in spreading its wealth among less privileged Maori.
This powerful iwi coterie fought tooth and nail through the courts to prevent the spoils of Treaty settlements trickling down to so-called “urban Maori” who don’t have the right connections. Their success in fighting off claims by urban Maori is measured by the continuing existence of a substantial Maori underclass that has been cut out of the Treaty bonanza.
It is in this underclass that the problems of Maori unemployment, drug abuse, domestic violence and welfare dependency continue to fester while the Maori aristocracy looks the other way. Not their problem.
* * *
SIR WILLIAM Gilbert, the half of Gilbert and Sullivan who wrote the words, came up with the perfect name for public officials who suffer from an inflated self-regard. He called them pooh-bahs.
Oddly enough, that was the word that flashed into my mind when I read that Children’s Commissioner John Angus had urged people to stay away from last weekend’s “march for democracy” in Auckland, organised to protest at the government’s decision to ignore the 87 percent of New Zealanders who voted in a referendum against the criminalisation of smacking.
What a cheek. What business is it of the Children’s Commissioner if New Zealanders want to exercise their democratic rights by marching up Queen St? What extraordinary conceit makes him think we could benefit from his moral and political guidance?
No one outside the social welfare bureaucracy had heard of Dr Angus before his appointment earlier this year. Perhaps this silly statement was his way of letting people know he exists.
Like his colleague, Race Relations Commissioner Joris de Bres, who gratuitously stirred up the squabble between Michael Laws and a group of Otaki schoolgirls over the spelling of Wanganui, Dr Angus needs to pull his head in.
* * *
AT THE risk of sounding treasonous, isn’t it time for a reality check after the hysteria over the All Whites’ win against Bahrain?
Fact: New Zealand is at odds of 750 to 1 to win the 2010 World Cup. It shares these ignominious odds with North Korea.
Fact: New Zealand is 77th in the world football rankings. It jumped six places following its win at Westpac Stadium but still languishes behind such football giants as Togo, Cyprus and Benin.
Fact: All Whites coach Ricki Herbert said it was the enthusiastic backing of the Wellington crowd that got his team “over the line” against Bahrain. Conclusion: Unless New Zealand’s World Cup games can all be played in the Cake Tin, or the government charters fleets of Boeing 747s to carry noisy Wellington fans to match venues overseas, the 1-0 result against Bahrain was as good as it’s going to get.
Commentators who say that rugby needs to watch its back clearly had their judgment clouded by the euphoric mood at the Westpac Stadium. All it proved was that Wellington loves an excuse for a good party, which we already knew.
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